Today, I’m talking about what’s happening when you feel like you went out there and did absolutely everything right. Yet, you didn’t achieve the result you wanted. That feeling when you thought you had everything going for you the way it should go, yet you fell short of reaching your goal.
Not achieving something you thought you had can be in just about any category of life.
I’ll tell you about a coaching call that I had earlier this week. She was battling this exact issue — feeling like she was doing everything right. Yet, she wasn’t achieving the results she wanted.
She then discovered that the way she showed up was not aligned with the kinds of people she wanted to be working with together. That was frustrating her because she had an amazing program. It’s incredible work that she does. She’s been successful in delivering this content to her clients, delivering amazing results to people. But somehow, there’s this disconnect, and she wasn’t able to attract the types of clients that she thought would be just lining up to sign up for her and be in this office. She couldn’t figure out why; her offer was solid. The investment in her offer matched the value of what she was delivering. She had plenty of client success stories and was confident in what she was presenting and how she was presenting it.
So what was wrong?
She reached out to get support on solving this mystery. And we recognized that her languaging in her marketing was attracting people coming from a place of lack. She was using phrases like, “Stop making excuses,” or, “Frustrated with not making $10,000 months?” and other languaging that was not attracting the kind of person she wanted.
She wanted to attract people who aren’t frustrated, not in a place of lack of feeling like they don’t have something. She wanted to be attracting people who had a bigger vision, a broader goal.
But the wording she was putting out there was attracting these kinds of people.
Yet, she still can help people like that. These are the people she wants to be working with, so what we did was we talked about the work that she does and the types of clients that she wanted to attract. And we started brainstorming the languaging that would help those people realize, Oh, my gosh, she’s talking to me, that’s what I want. And then she’s a rock star. So she immediately implemented all of this right away and made a successful offer right off the bat.
Suppose you need clarity around that kind of mystery ingredient in what’s not working right for you. In that case, I welcome you to schedule a conversation with me. And we will find you some clarity about that.
One helpful step you can take to help figure out what might be standing in your way in achieving your goal.
Write down the word, clarity.
Now it may seem obvious that you need to be clear. But I want to talk to you about some specific things that you need to get clear on.
If you’ve been in my world for any length of time, you have heard me say this (and you’re going to hear me say it until I’m blue in the face because it’s really, really important): you need to get clear on exactly who you are.
When you are clear about who you are, it opens the door to clarity on everything — things like how you show up, where you need to go, how you’re going to get there.
When my client got clear on who she is and the kind of business owner she is, it opened the door for her to understand where she needs to go. It also opened the door to her figuring out how she needed to get there.
I talked last week about the example of GPS, and this is so important. When you who you are, that crystal clear clarity about who you are, is your point of origin. Suppose you think about GPS, which GPS, you plug in the destination or your goal wherever you want to go, whatever result you want to achieve. That’s your destination, but you, you are the point of origin. And when you’re not clear about who you are, your GPS doesn’t know how to tell you to get to your goal because it doesn’t know where we’re starting.
That’s why you have to get so clear on who you are. Once you know who you are and your goal, the path to get there makes so much more sense.
That point of origin determines how you get to your goal.
Everyone will get to their goal differently, depending on their strengths, stand-out qualities, and what they love. Things go into who you are, that go into that point of origin. When you’re clear about who that is, it lights the path, and how you’re going to achieve that goal, get to that destination.
So number one, get clear on who you are.
Number two, get clear on what it is that you desire.
Getting clear on what you desire inspires you to clarify the strategy you need to get what you desire.
Getting crystal clear on what you desire also opens your eyes to see the non-negotiables, which is just as important as knowing what you desire. That is, knowing what you absolutely will not tolerate. Having that kind of clarity helps you avoid a lot of missteps along the way.
Knowing what you desire also allows you to see the potential obstacles that could get in the way of you achieving what it is you desire.
That probably sounds obvious, but you’re not going to be able to see those obstacles unless you know what it is that you want.
Another thing about getting crystal clear about what you desire is that it energetically allows it to be more real for you in life.
Here’s an example of the opposite of this:
I used to judge and present workshops at a singing competition a long time ago. And there was this singer there that was just phenomenally talented; a brilliant, brilliant singer. I was perplexed by her. And she was perplexed why she wasn’t winning. But what I observed about this singer was that, while she’s an unbelievable singer and a fantastic, charismatic performer who entertains the crowd, she wasn’t clear on what she wanted. I’m not even sure that she was clear that she wanted to win until after it was all over. And she did. She’s someone that you would think would win because she’s so good. But she came with no strategy, no plan whatsoever. She just kind of showed up.
I noticed other singers had been practicing for sometimes months to get ready for this week-long competition. This person would come with just a whole bunch of ideas and would wake up in the morning and be like, hmm, I’ll either do this song, or I’ll do this song. I’m not really sure. Maybe I’ll wear this today. It was a free-for-all.
So because she wasn’t clear on what she wanted to achieve in this competition, she had no strategy whatsoever. She had no idea what she wouldn’t tolerate, which I would have thought would have been losing. And, and she had absolutely no idea what the obstacles would be in her way. Or probably that there even would be obstacles in her way. Because what would happen was that when the contest was over, she was like, wow, I didn’t win. It was this surprise. Every time it was disappointing to see that, if this person just had a little bit of strategy, a plan, everything else would have come almost second nature. She just had to know what she desired.
Knowing what you desire with crystal clear clarity is super essential to achieve your goal.
The third thing you need to get clear on is how you need to show up. I’ll go back to that client I talked about earlier. When she got clear about how she needed to show up in the world and in her business, she could see that she wasn’t doing that.
That was what was in the way for her, so it allowed her to make the necessary changes. It allowed her to see what she needed to do differently, how she needed to show up differently. Sometimes that kind of clarity of how you need to show up comes more effortless with a little bit of support.
On the topic of support, I want to remind you to schedule a time in my calendar to chat more about how to get clear on who you are.